


Summer Days

by Xairathan



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: F/F, Gendo Rokubungi (mentioned), Manga Timeline, One-sided Mari/Yui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:59:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xairathan/pseuds/Xairathan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her name is Yui Ikari, and she's supposed to be a rival- but what starts out as a rivalry becomes something more, something that cannot be. // Pre-Extra Stage</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is, my first multi-chapter fic ~~ever?~~ in a long time! Thanks to my pre-readers r0sie-p0sies, notalentartist, and livinlizard from Tumblr.

Whether it's high school or university, the first day of class is always the same: get in, get the syllabus, and get out. Mari anticipates the same from her final class of the week, a lab course that would normally eat up three hours of a Thursday afternoon. With no homework yet assigned, a visit to the library seems inevitable; there it will be quiet, and no one will try to talk to her.

 

Mari glances quickly to the side, a flickering of the eyes that could easily be missed. Yes, the woman sitting one empty seat away is still staring at her. Of course she wants a conversation. It’s evident in the way she sits, arm settling against the counter so she can prop her head up on it. The boys at Mari’s high school used to do the same, usually when they were working up the courage to talk to her. _Best to get this over with,_ she thinks, swiveling on her stool. "What?"

 

The woman blows a pink bubble and pops it, and Mari resists the urge to tell her that gum in the labs is forbidden. "You look a little young to be here."

 

"So?" Mari counters.

 

"How old are you?"

 

"Sixteen."

 

"Ahh. You must be one of those child prodigies. Top of your class, graduated with full honors- how many years did you skip?" Mari holds up two fingers. "Huh. Well, my name's Kyoko. The professor's probably going to pair us up once he starts class, so I thought I'd say hello. Your name is...?"

 

"Mari." Her tone swings from bored to clipped in the span of one word, and Kyoko takes the hint. Out of the corner of her eye, Mari watches Kyoko dig into her bag and pull out a small handheld mirror. Stifling a sigh, she turns toward the window. Stuck in the same lab group as a third or fourth year who acts just like the girls in high school. That's exactly what Mari doesn't need.

 

Her gaze wanders down the window, tracing the paths of students below. Mari wonders if anyone out there- or anyone else at Kyoto University- is younger than she is. Probably not. Resting her head on one hand, her fingers drum along to a tune in her head, this season's hot new song. It'll probably stay with her for a few days, and on the charts for a month, before a new craze sweeps in with the coming of summer. That's how it's always worked. Though Mari would never say it aloud, the familiarity is comforting, just a seamless transition from one segment of her life to the next. The annoying boys who always tried to flirt with her will be replaced by cold professionals and their detached interactions, and Mari is fine with that.

 

There's a part of her, pushed down time and time again, that wonders what it would be like to get into a serious relationship. Month-long flings had been common among her peers, another thing that had put her off seeking a boyfriend. Her logical side tells her, as it always has, that any relationship is a waste when she should be focusing on her studies. Still, she's young, and she has time. Mari sighs and lays her head against the table, staring at a pale stain on the otherwise clean surface. She brushes the tips of her fingers together, pretending the touch isn't coming from herself, but from another: a boy perhaps, barely older than her and just as intelligent. Yes, that could be worth pursuing.

 

The chattering in the lab drops away as the door opens and closes, and Mari sits upright, looking to the front of the class. Written in chalk on the blackboard is the professor's name: Kozo Fuyutsuki. Mari feels his eyes upon her as he surveys the class before speaking. "I see many familiar faces here, and some new ones," he notes, slowly walking down the center aisle. "If you do not know what I expect from you, I suggest you learn quickly. Here we have no syllabus, only the rules as outlined in your laboratory manuals, which you should have read prior to coming here. Today, we will be performing basic experiments to get everyone acquainted with the equipment."

 

Fuyutsuki comes to a pause in front of Kyoko, staring at the empty seat beside her. "Miss Ikari?" he asks.

 

"Probably running late, as usual." Kyoko pops her gum again and shrugs. "She'll be here."

 

"I trust that she will. Moving on, then- you should all be sitting in groups of three. If you are not-" The rest of Fuyutsuki's explanation is lost in Mari's angry grumbling. No mention of Kyoko's breach of laboratory conduct, and a simple dismissal of a student's tardiness? Four years of rigid discipline matter nothing here. Only the promise of lab work keeps Mari from leaving. She pulls her book from her bag, flipping to the first chapter as per Fuyutsuki's instructions. Diagrams swim in her vision, accompanied by page after page of familiar drivel, and just as Mari is about to flip to the back of the book, the door opens again.

 

"I'm sorry I'm late, Professor Fuyutsuki!" shouts the late arrival as she sprints at the seat next to Kyoko's. Mari registers light brown hair and red glasses, and a sweater that looks as disheveled as its owner.

 

"Ah, Yui. Good of you to join us. We were reviewing basic experiment protocol, on page 24 of our books."

 

"Book?" Yui glances around frantically, while Kyoko rolls her eyes.

 

"You forgot your bag, Yui," the blonde deadpans. "Off to a great start, don't you think?"

 

"Just share with the person next to you," says Fuyutsuki. "Continuing on. After you have set the hot plate to its third setting-"

 

"Kyoko, let me see," Mari hears Yui whisper. Kyoko shakes her head, pulling her book away and pointing in Mari's direction. "Kyoko- oh, fine." Metal legs scrape against the tiles as Yui moves closer to Mari, extending a hand. "My name's Yui Ikari. Mind if I share your book?"

 

"Mari Makinami," Mari volunteers. "And..." her voice catches as she looks at Yui's smiling face; even though there's only a slight upturning of her lips, Yui looks like she's beaming. "Yeah. Sure. Why not." The words spill out in an uncoordinated rush as Mari moves automatically to shake Yui's hand. Warm fingers press into her palm, and her stomach drops, a sensation she's never felt before. As Yui releases her, Mari shoves her book over into their shared space, hunching over it. Yui joins her in browsing the text, oblivious to the glances Mari throws her every few seconds. To Mari, everything about Yui screams 'rival', and the idea of someone being able to keep pace with her excites her, makes her heart race and her fingers tingle.

 

If she can find a rival in this Yui Ikari- and Mari is sure she will- then she will outdo Yui in every single quiz and test. That too seems certain: there's no way she'd let herself be outdone by someone so disorganized and forgetful. Someone so optimistic. As the groups start to break off to gather their lab equipment, Mari makes herself a promise: to outdo Yui Ikari in everything, and prove that even among her seniors, she can still be the best.

 

Mari isn't the best, not even by a close margin. When the results of their first test are passed back four weeks after classes start, it's Yui with the perfect marks, followed by Kyoko with a 95%. Mari glares at the traitorous 92 underlined on her paper in red and shoves it into her bag.

 

For the rest of the day she works in silence, smoldering on the inside as she observes a row of test tubes and washes out used beakers. Yui and Kyoko are more than happy to do the actual experiment in her stead, recording data that Mari copies down when she isn't cleaning out flasks. She moves about her partners like a ghost, simmering with jealousy and self-loathing, up until the point she squeezes a little too hard on a test tube.

 

The pained gasp Mari lets out is nothing compared to shards of glass hitting the floor. Every head in the lab turns toward her. Mari looks away, down at her hand, where a small sliver of glass shines up at her amidst a gathering pool of blood. This lasts for but a moment: Yui rushes forward, avoiding the glass underfoot, and grabs Mari by the shoulder. "Kyoko, you take care of the rest," she says, and Kyoko nods. "Mari, come with me."

 

"I'm fine," Mari protests, but Yui's hold on her is too strong to pull away from. Yui pulls her to the back of the room, where the sink and the first-aid kit are. "Yui, I can do this by myself."

 

"Let me see your hand."

 

Shaking her head, Mari extends her injured hand, watching as Yui cups it with both of hers and inspects the cuts. "Not too deep. There's still something in there. Stay right there," Yui orders, opening the first-aid kit. She comes away with a roll of gauze tucked under one arm and a pair of tweezers in hand. "This might hurt."

 

"I said I'll be fine," Mari murmurs, wincing only slightly as Yui plucks the glass from her palm with uncanny precision. The pain radiating up her arm is nothing compared to the embarrassment burning red on her cheeks. She looks away as Yui begins wrapping up her hand, instead watching Kyoko crouching down to sweep up the glass fragments and dump them into a bin. Her shame increases twofold, and she turns back to Yui just as the older woman calls her name.

 

"Mari? We'll finish cleaning up for you, alright? Just write down what we've got and take a seat. Or- was that your writing hand?" The concern on her face breaks into a grin when Mari shakes her head. "That's good to hear. You should take this, in case you need to change the wrap. If it gets infected, have the campus doctor take a look at it. Okay?"

 

"Yeah. Thanks." Yui darts away, energetic as always. Mari slumps against the sink, leaning against her elbow and staring at her bandaged hand. No red peeks through the layers of white, only a small consolation. Her classmates line up to hand in their papers, and Mari shuffles around them back to her desk, where her pencil lies atop her half-completed paper. Yui's work rests next to them, Yui herself busy talking to Kyoko. Mari thinks she hears her name as she walks by- no doubt saying some piteous thing about her. The thought ignites the fire in her chest again, and she scribbles down answer after answer in a furious haze.

 

When she's done, Mari takes both papers up to the front and leaves them on the pile, not even bothering to voice a goodbye to Fuyutsuki. As she grabs for her bag, she almost drops it, having reached for it with her injured hand. Suppressing a snarl, she swings it onto her shoulder, and she's halfway to the door when Yui's voice stops her.

 

"Hey, Mari! Kyoko and I were headed to the library to study for our other classes. Do you want to join us?"

 

The 'no' is on the tip of Mari's tongue, her lips poised to deliver it, and yet she hesitates. Yui's kindness knows no bounds, it seems. To refuse her offer based on nothing but pride would be a waste, and though she hates to admit it, there could be something to be learned from both Yui and Kyoko. Turning back to them, Mari shrugs. Outright acceptance isn't in her nature. "I guess."

 

Yui smiles, her head framed by the setting afternoon sun, and it's then Mari knows she made the right decision. Returning Yui's smile with one of her own, she waves a hand toward the door. "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

June heralds the start of summer, and with the rising temperatures come the pressures of mid-term exams. Mari has one less test to take than both Yui and Kyoko, yet she finds herself pacing the corridor outside their classroom, listening intently to the sound of her footsteps and the occasional cough from behind the doors. She could be somewhere else- in the library, preparing for her next exam, or relaxing in her dorm room. Instead she waits, glancing down at her wristwatch and grumbling, then going back and forth and starting the cycle anew.

 

Predictably, Yui and Kyoko finish first. Mari hears the scraping of chairs being pushed back, and then Yui's footfalls ring familiar in her ears, like a second heartbeat. She recognizes Kyoko's too, but only by the way they mingle with Yui's. Mari has never paid much attention to Kyoko when she walks alone.

 

The pair stumble into the hall, Yui practically knocking down the door in her haste to escape. Mari waves, a dip of her fingers that is answered by Yui grabbing her and shaking her by the shoulders.

 

"Mari! It was awful!" she wails. "I forgot to read one of the chapters last night, and an entire page was questions just about that chapter! I'm doomed!"

 

"More like melodramatic," sighs Kyoko, nodding to Mari over Yui's bowed head. "Why are you here, Mari? I thought you didn't have anything today."

 

"I was in the area. Thought I'd see if you wanted to go for a walk somewhere."

 

"A walk? That sounds like an excellent idea!" Yui's head jerks up at the suggestion, and Mari snickers- between Yui's unbridled enthusiasm and Kyoko's mortified expression, the half-hour wait for them has already paid off.

 

Yui swings around Mari, looping their arms together and marching toward the doors. She catches Kyoko on the way, pulling her along, and together the three stride out into the heat.

 

The humid, unbearably sticky heat. Mari bears it with nothing but a slight change in her stance as Yui whips off her ever-present lab coat, tying it around her waist. Kyoko's eye twitches, and she steps back, ready to make a break for the comfort of the air-conditioned building. Then Mari leans forward, raising an eyebrow and smirking. It's the look she gives Kyoko right before each quiz, the look that says she's expecting a challenge. Kyoko grinds her teeth together, standing her ground. "So, where to?" she asks.

 

"There should be a bench with some shade somewhere around here," Yui recalls. "It's probably not going to be occupied, so we can go there."

 

"And do what?"

 

"Talk. Relax. Things we normally do." Mari answers with a shrug- not her standard hunching of shoulders, but with a prolonged spreading of her arms- just another thing she's picked up from Yui, another mannerism that bothers Kyoko. Mari can see it in how one eyebrow furrows, dipping into a disapproving frown all its own, and it brings a smile to her lips. Waving her hand forward, she says to Yui, "Lead the way."

 

And lead, Yui does. Two years at Kyoto University have etched the sidewalks into her mind, straight lines that she openly defies. Yui leads her friends across grass, skirting around birds who look at them with puzzled glances before flying away. Her pulling becomes a gentle tugging as Yui unlinks her arms from Mari's and Kyoko's, seizing their hands and guiding them along. They are a strange sight- three shadows masked by the haze of summer, darting under the branches.

 

Kyoko almost trips, catching herself with an awkward grace and drawing a laugh from Yui. Mari turns toward them sharply, only to trip on a root of her own, and the laughter becomes twofold. She pushes off the dirt, her pride and her palms stinging, and is greeted by a hand reaching down toward her- Yui's. "Mari?" she asks, hiding a giggle behind her smile. "Do you need a hand?"

 

There's nothing to be lost by accepting Yui's offer, so Mari reaches up, their palms clasped together for a brief second as Yui hauls the younger girl to her feet. Mari jerks away as soon as she's upright, nodding her thanks, distracted by the strange sensation in her hand- it's almost like electricity is surging beneath her skin, waxing and waning with the pulsing of her veins. She pushes the feeling aside, returning Yui's concerned glance with a nod, and the three of them make a beeline for the bench, now visible across the walkway.

 

As Yui predicted, it is vacant. No one is around to hear them, either: the early onset of warmth has driven mostly everyone indoors. Kyoko looks about ready to join their numbers, fanning at herself with one hand as she takes the seat closest to the tree and its shade. Yui plops down next to her, leaving Mari to sit in the sun: she chooses to stand in front of the pair instead.

 

"It's too hot," Kyoko complains. "Those global warming guys over in geology must be having a field day with this."

 

"I don't think they're from geology," Mari mutters.

 

"Geology. Meteorology. Whatever. It's not my job, so-" Kyoko shrugs, and Mari bites back a retort. The heat could make anyone irritable, especially someone like Kyoko. She lets her attention wander as her companions begin discussing exam questions, things she does not yet have an understanding of. Their knowledge is rooted in numbers and lab work; Mari's relies on theory and what little experience she's been granted. Two years' seniority make themselves evident in the rapid exchange of questions and answers, and Mari picks up only phrases, strings of words whose meaning she has yet to grasp before the conversation become unintelligible once more.

Sometime between topics, Mari gives up all hope of being included in their discussion and focuses on the nearby three. Bark hangs off it in loose clusters, and the lowest branch hangs just out of jumping reach. It would be difficult to climb, Mari thinks, and so she homes in on it just like with any other task. She drifts away from the bench, not stopping when Yui calls her name. Not until Mari stands at the base of the tree does she stop moving, and then, it's only for a second. Taking a deep breath, she fastens her arms around the tree, searching for handholds discernible only by touch. She finds three, one of which is too low to be of any use. Grasping onto the other two, Mari hauls herself halfway up to the branch, only to slip down and stagger back.

 

Yui's eyes are on her now; Mari is sure of it, and her determination to succeed drives her mindlessly forward. Crumbled bark yields before her scrabbling fingers, which crawl across the tree until they find purchase. Mari scrambles up, digging in with her feet and all but rolling onto her side atop her new perch. She inspects her nails like Kyoko would, now rugged and dirtied by her effort- but when she looks up, Yui is looking back at her, and Mari decides it was worth it after all.

 

Then Yui stands.

 

A moment later, she is at the base of the tree, looking up at Mari, the sun reflecting in her emerald eyes as she says, "That was cool! Can I get up there too?"

 

Even from twenty feet away, Mari hears Kyoko scoff. "Why do you bother, Yui? That stuff's for children."

 

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Right, Mari?" Yui grins, radiating youthful exuberance, and of course Mari nods: there's no other reply to a question like that. "Now, how'd you climb this?"

 

"There should be a place you can grab right... there." Mari leans over, grabbing the branch with one hand and pointing with the other. "You'll need to wrap your hand around the trunk and just... go, I guess?"

 

"Like this?"

 

Yui's first attempt fails utterly. She gets a good half a foot off the ground before her handhold gives, sending her onto her back. Even Kyoko, who knows nothing of climbing trees, cringes. "No, Yui, you grabbed the wrong thing. More to your left. Yeah, that's it. Okay, now-"

 

Mari's instructions are cut off by Yui, who's fallen again. The lab coat on her waist unravels and settles in the soil, and she retreats briefly to place it by her bag and Kyoko's. "I guess I'll have to wash that again," she sighs. "Don't worry. I'll get it eventually."

 

And eventually, Yui does get it, it being a growing bruise on her backside from repeated hard landings. Kyoko watches, a growing amusement breaking her haughty exterior, offering useless tips every few attempts. Mari offers her own advice, vague at best- but Yui's tenacity defies them both, and she never stays down for long.

 

After what feels like a hundred tries later, Mari can't take it any longer. Inching over to the trunk, she peers down at Yui. "Hey, do you want a-"

 

"Can I get a hand, Mari?"

 

Yui finishes her question a half-second before Mari can manage hers. There's silence as Mari struggles to process it, and then she squeaks out, "Okay." Leaning over and extending her arm, she adds, "Please don't pull me down with you. You'll want to put your feet on the trunk as you climb up."

 

Their hands meet for the second time, and as Yui struggles to haul herself up, Mari's eyes lose their focus. All that matters is the sudden pounding in her head and a feeling like static where her hand and Yui's touch. It's a feeling she's only read about, only dreamed about, and when Yui reaches up with her other hand and Mari grabs it on instinct, her senses go crazy. Yui tells her one thing as her mind screams another; 'thank you' is overwritten by 'you love her'. Time cannot go slow enough to let the thought sink in, and all too soon Yui is pulling her hands away and flinging them into the air in celebration.

 

"Made it!" she cheers. Kyoko claps sarcastically, but not even she can mask her happiness for Yui. By contrast, Mari lets it all show- in her eyes, in the way she tilts her head, in her pose, because every last bit of her is struggling to hide this new revelation. That she is impossibly, irrevocably in love with Yui Ikari.

 

"Nice view up here, isn't it Mari?"

 

Mari snaps out of her daze long enough to nod. "Uh-huh. Nice view."

 

"How is that even a nice view? You're ten feet up with birds probably about to crap on your head."      

 

"Okay, does that actually happen?" asks Yui. Mari shakes her head, Kyoko voices an objection, and the conversation starts up again. This time, Mari excludes herself by choice, contributing only nods and short answers when prompted. The heat gives way to a cool breeze, rustling the leaves and sending some flying into Mari's hair. Yui plucks each one out carefully, untangling stray strands when she sees them, all the while unaware that Mari is staring at the ground, her cheeks burning hot like the sun.

 

It's not until Kyoko checks her watch that the three realize how much time they've spent talking. Between idle chat and Yui's shenanigans, a little over three hours have passed. Despite the length of the summer days, Kyoko insists she has to go- and since she is Yui's ride, so too must Yui.

 

When Kyoko stands to leave, Mari jumps off her branch on reflex, momentarily forgetting that Yui has no idea how to get down on her own. She turns back in time to see Yui edging forward, eyeing empty air. When she jumps, Mari reacts on instinct, shuffling over to the side and extending her arms. Yui lurches into her as she lands, nearly sending them both sprawling, but Mari keeps them steady.

 

"Thanks for the catch and the tree-climbing," Yui says, pulling Mari into a brief hug. "We should do it again when I've got more time. I'll see you tomorrow!"

 

Yui runs after Kyoko, yelling for her to wait, and Mari watches her go, the summer wind whistling happily in her ears. Even long after Yui's vanished and Mari's turned and started for her room, she still feels like whistling along with it.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

The day midterms finish, Fuyutsuki announces the date of the next lab exam- the following week, in fact. The entire class erupts into groans, save for Yui, Kyoko, and Mari- the first two are veterans of his poorly-scheduled tests, and Mari has them to rely on. It's automatic, the way Kyoko looks across the table, receiving nods from the others in return, the silent agreement that means 'sleepover at Kyoko's'.

 

They pile into her car as soon as the class ends, Yui claiming the passenger's seat, and Mari taking up the back. All three of their bags end up with her as well, and Mari unzips them all, pulling out sheaves of paper with practiced precision. Yui had showed her the places where all their notes were stored during one of their library study sessions, and from that day on, it was a rhythm as simple as breathing. Kyoko would drive, Yui would make conversation, and Mari would get everything ready.

 

When the only other option is to staring out the window- or at Yui- anything sounds like a good idea.

 

Kyoko's apartment is, officially, ten minutes away by car. She makes it there in six. Mari staggers out first, mumbling her usual commentary on Kyoko's reckless driving. Yui emerges next, laughing as she takes her bag from Mari. They wait for Kyoko to lock the door before Yui grabs her friends by the arms and marches up them up the stairs, spouting off about the necessity of exercise. "Not when I live on the seventh floor!" Kyoko moans, and Mari voices her agreement. Yui treks on, undeterred.

 

As soon as Kyoko unlocks the door, Mari flings herself through it, throwing her bag into the kitchen as she barrels past it and onto the couch. "Yuiiii. My legs," she says, drawing out each syllable.

 

"Hey, get off that," orders Kyoko. "I need to make the bed for you- oh, Yui. I kind of lent my spare bedroll out to someone in exchange for their- never mind. You okay sharing with Mari?"

 

"Sure, that's fine. Mari?" Said girl does not respond, too preoccupied by Kyoko's attempts to drag her off the couch. "I don't think it'll be a problem. Want a hand with that?"

 

"Please." Kyoko tugs fruitlessly at Mari's legs, her curls bouncing with each motion. "Mari, the sooner you get off, the sooner you'll have more space to lie on."

 

Yui bends over the opposite end of the couch, doing her best impression of a staring contest. It doesn't work when she smiles, though Mari doesn't have the heart to tell her that. She's gotten used to that same, patient smile- though she can't help but wonder if it would go away if she were to just- tilt her head up by a few inches and-

 

That thought catapults Mari up faster than Yui can react. Their heads meet with a clunk, and Yui staggers back, bringing her hands up to cradle a spot below her eye. Mari moves after her, nearly kicking Kyoko in the stomach, her cheeks heating up as she asks, "Yui! Did I hurt you? Should I get ice?"

"No, no- I'm fine. It just stings a little." The smile isn't gone, Mari notices, but it has grown sheepish, as if a full-blown grin would hurt too much to hold. Surprisingly, that bothers her more than if Yui had just stopped smiling.

 

Behind them both, Kyoko hauls the couch into its bed setting with a triumphant, "Finally! I guess that's one way to get Mari off." Ducking under the shoe thrown her way, Kyoko disappears into the next room, where the spare sheets and pillows are stored.

 

"Did that really warrant a shoe?" asks Yui.

 

"Y-yes!" Mari stammers, removing her other shoe and retrieving the first. "You both- you're too old to do those kinds of things!"

 

"You sound like Kyoko."

 

"I can hear you, you know!" Kyoko bellows. Yui snickers, earning a lingering glance from Mari. She notices only after several seconds, and cocks her head to one side.

 

"Your face. It's red," Mari says, extending a hand. To her surprise, Yui doesn't move away, doesn't even react as Mari runs her fingers over the red patch left by their collision.

 

Yui's skin is warm to the touch- not a sickly warmth, but different, and only with great effort does Mari lift her hand. Her fingers feel cold almost immediately. Thankfully, Yui questions none of this, instead looking past Mari to the cluster of bags piled haphazardly on the kitchen table. "I'll be fine. You got our notes out?"

 

"Yes. I organized them by topic since I had time, but- hey!" She sighs as Yui musses her hair affectionately, but of course she doesn't mean it, and from the way Yui carries on, she knows it too. "Hope you've got a comb."

 

"Steal Kyoko's."

 

"Steal my what now?" Kyoko wanders back in with two blankets, a sheet, and several pillows stacked high in her arms. Ignoring Mari's scandalized cry of "It's summer!", she pitches them to the side, dusting off her hands. "Let me get this set up. Soda and juice are over on the counter if you want some, and I should have some snacks to the left of the spoons- if you didn't eat them all, Yui."

 

"We love you too, Kyoko." Yui blows a kiss at her friend. Mari's response is to spin on her heel and slam herself down into the nearest chair. As she busies herself with retrieving her notes, Yui plops down beside her, books in hand. "Alright, let's get started. What first? Cell composition? Culture growth?"

 

"Anything guaranteed to get me to stop thinking," Mari growls, snatching her book away from Yui. And then- of course; she should've expected it- she feels Yui's hand on her shoulder.

"Mari, is everything alright?"

 

"Yeah. Fine. Sorry. Stress." It's not quite a lie, but not quite the truth either. Mari sees it in Yui's eyes, that she doesn't believe it for a second, but she knows Mari well enough to know when to give her space. The pressure on Mari's shoulder lifts. She wants to grab for it, to bring that hand back, to beg Yui to hold her and not let go- and so Mari shoves a page of notes in front of her eyes and forces herself to read the meaningless text. The writing doesn't even look like hers, she thinks. It looks like it should belong to a disorganized high school student. How useless.

 

A moment later, Kyoko saunters by, juggling an open beer and several bags of chips. "Dig in," she offers. "Mari, I'm not saying you should, but if you drink, I'm abandoning all responsibility for you."

 

"Like I would," Mari counters.

 

"You'd be surprised. So Yui, what've we got?"

 

Yui holds out her book, highlighted and complete with cramped writing in the margins. It takes Kyoko all of a second to read it, and when she's finished she nods and reaches for her own notes. It's a simple thing that makes Mari's stomach churn, the realization that Yui is so familiar to others, and so distant from her. That feeling lasts all of a moment, until Yui taps her arm, pointing to the page. Even if she can't understand, Yui is willing to help her, and that's what matters. One touch, and Mari feels better again.

 

Together they jump from subject to subject, huddling around Kyoko's binder to see her pasted-in photos of lab subjects. When Mari rises to use the restroom, Kyoko and Yui swap her tea for coffee, earning them each a pencil to the head. Mari seizes her chance for revenge an hour later, filling Kyoko's bag of sea-salt chips with vinegar flavored ones instead. Topping them both is Yui, who hides their notes in clean coffee thermoses, stalling their studies for a good half-hour.

 

It's ten o'clock when Kyoko excuses herself, pouring the last of the coffee into her mug. "I've got early classes tomorrow," she says. "I'll leave the keys on Yui's bag so you two can lock up once you leave. Want me to wake you up when I go?"

 

"Sounds good! Save some of the hot water for us, okay?"

 

"I make no promises." Kyoko walks away chuckling, leaving Yui staring after her with a worried expression.

 

"Yui? She won't really use it all up, will she?"

 

"She did one time in our freshman year," Yui quips. "She left our floor without hot water for an entire night."

 

"You're kidding."

 

"I wish I was. The dorm rep made her swear to take ten-minute showers after that, and only in the evenings. Good old Kyoko."

 

"That must've been a- a sight to see." Mari's joints crack as she yawns, stretching her arms toward the ceiling. "Wow, I'm tired. Yui, can you wake me up in fifteen minutes? I think I need a-"

 

"You need a yawn?"

 

"Yui!"

 

"Just joking! I'll wake you up. Go count the mutations of RNA or something like that."

 

"Funny." Yui's quiet laughter is audible even when Mari lays her head on one side, tucking her arms under it to provide some cushioning. It's no pillow, but it's comfortable enough to get a few minutes rest on. Content to listen to Yui moving around beside her, Mari nods off, her dreams filled with double helixes scrawled in red ink.

 

Her limbs ache when she opens her eyes- not just her arms, but her legs too. They pop when she stands, and almost give beneath her. The clock on the microwave reads 1:30 in the morning, and before Mari has time to wonder how it's gotten so late, a snore interrupts her. Sleeping with a pencil still in hand and her face in her book, Yui looks like the epitome of an overworked college student, even if she's anything but. A gentle poke fails to rouse her, so Mari lets her sleep, opting to wash her face.

 

Kyoko's laid out a spare toothbrush out on the bathroom counter, much to Mari's appreciation. She scrubs her mouth clean and douses her face in water until she feels some vague semblance of waking- it's enough to get her thinking straight, at the very least.

 

Yui is still snoring away when Mari returns to the living room. Grabbing one of the blankets off the bed, she drapes it over Yui's shoulders- slowly, as not to wake her. Yui remains as oblivious as ever, not even stirring when Mari turns off the lights and subsequently trips twice trying to find her way back to the couch.

 

The remaining sheets are light, and Mari, with no change of clothes on hand, is grateful for them. She clambers onto the bed, tucking a pillow securely under one arm, letting the warmth of the blankets lull her back to sleep.

 

Sometime in the early morning, Mari wakes, if only briefly. It's not even a full wakening; her awareness is limited to a warm presence beside her, one that feels welcoming- and above all, familiar. She snuggles back into it, eyes still tightly shut. Her conscious mind fails to register the hot air brushing against the back of her neck. Comfortable with her new position, Mari relaxes, settling once more into unrecalled dreams.

 

It takes sunlight and the chirping of birds to rouse Mari fully, and even those take a while to affect her. What causes her eyes to fly open are a pair of arms loosely wrapped around her waist. A steady movement against her back prompts her to turn her head, and her eyes go wide as her mind struggles to make sense of her situation.

 

She wants to scream with joy. She wants to pinch herself to make sure this is real. Mari wiggles in Yui's arms, a slow rolling of her body, until finally they're face to face, and Mari cannot possibly deny that she isn't dreaming.

 

Noticing the loss of her makeshift pillow, Yui moves forward, nuzzling into Mari's shoulder. The feeling of plastic on her skin draws Mari's eyes down. There, still perched on Yui's face, are her red glasses. Below them, in the place where they knocked heads, there is only unblemished skin. Relief surges through Mari as she slowly tugs at Yui's glasses. "You know," she whispers, "it's a bad idea to sleep with your glasses on." Never mind that she had just slept with her contacts still in.  

 

Balancing the frames on the arm of the couch is an easy task. Once that's done, Mari returns her attention to the arms around her, to Yui's cheek, warm against her neck. If Yui could hear her pulse, what would she think? More importantly, what if- no, Mari chides herself. There's no possible way Yui would return her feelings. Still, she can't help but wonder, a hand hovering nervously over Yui's face. Just a simple touch- that's all it would take to wake her- but Mari is frozen in time. She remains still, listening to Yui's quiet breathing, reveling in every heart-pounding second, until the squeak of rusted hinges echoes nearby. Kyoko.

 

Mari jerks back, waking Yui as Kyoko makes her way down the hall, coffee mug in hand and dressed for school. "You two are up early."

 

"Just woke up, actually," says Yui.

 

"Same," Mari adds, fiddling with her hair and making it cover her face.

 

"That's good. Well, the shower is yours. There should be food in the fridge. Remember to lock up. See you!"

 

Kyoko sweeps past without another word, pausing only to place her mug in the sink and grab her bag. "Well, I should go get ready. Do you want to shower first, Mari?"

 

"No, I'm fine. You go first. I could use five more minutes."

 

"I know that feeling. Pass me my glasses, Mari? Thanks."

 

Yui slides out from under the blankets, padding off to the washroom. Mari waits until she's gone, waits long after she hears the shutting of the door and the rush of running water. Only then does she turn and bury her face in one of the pillows. It smells nice. Pulling it closer, Mari burrows her face into it, scrunching her eyes shut. If she imagines hard enough, she can still feel the touch of arms around her waist, the gentle puffs of air against her skin.

 

Brushing aside all pretenses, Mari hugs the pillow tighter, curling up on the sheets and drawing them around her. She can't get enough; she can't breathe; she knows exactly what this feeling is, and she both wants and loathes it. The pounding of her blood echoes in her ears, a single word repeating endlessly, and Mari doesn't resist. She exhales, pulling the pillow even closer, drowning the sounds of the morning in favor of this one thing. _"Yui."_

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

The next week goes by in a blur. Fuyutsuki's test, which fazes even Yui to the point of worry, is forgotten in the rush of projects assigned in what Kyoko calls typical end-of-semester fashion. Mari's seniors take everything in stride, as they always do- but Mari herself falters for the first time, the growing circles beneath her eyes a testament to hours of work. She sees Kyoko and Yui only once outside of classes, on the bench where the usually sit and talk, and even though she wants to answer Yui's wave, she can't- there's somewhere she has to be.

 

The next day, Mari completes her homework early, and despite her fatigue she pelts down the stairs of her dorm and runs straight for their meeting place. Only Kyoko is there, smoking a cigarette and reading a book, and so Mari turns away, shambling off to her next assignment.

 

Fuyutsuki passes their exams back that Thursday. His face is etched with disappointment, and he says nothing as he advances up the aisles: the low marks on the papers do all the talking necessary. He places his hand approvingly on Yui's shoulder as he hands her test back, and even though she's drained, Mari musters the energy to look up at her professor and glare. When both Fuyutsuki and Kyoko give her looks of pity, she turns away, accepting her paper without a word.

 

The girl in the window hardly looks like her, with her unbrushed hair and circles beneath her eyes so dark, they could pass for bruises. From across the table she hears Yui say, I got a ninety-three. You?"

 

"Eighty-seven," sighs Kyoko. "It looks like we both missed the same thing."

 

"Yeah. Mari, what about you?"

 

Mari jumps, nearly falling off her seat. She catches herself against the table, looking rapidly between Yui and her paper. "What?"

 

"Question seven. Did you get it wrong?"

 

"Yes," Mari replies flatly. Sounding disappointed would take too much effort. As she flips back to the first page, her eyes catch the red ink marking the top of her exam. The tired quaking of her hands becomes a violent trembling as she asks, "Yui, what did you get again?"

 

"93. Why?"

 

"Just wondering." Mari shoves her paper away as Kyoko shrugs, leaning over towards Yui to compare their answers. Their garbled discussion echoes quietly in the back of her mind, nonsensical filtered noise that fails to distract her from her focus. The tip of one finger traces the numbers mindlessly on the table top. 94. She's done it.

 

She's finally beaten Yui.

 

Fuyutsuki assumes his position at the front of the classroom; his voice is a low, droning buzz. Only when Yui taps her shoulder does Mari realize the others are out of their seats, grabbing for Petri dishes and mice. She rises, only to tangle her legs among the chair's. She pitches forward, straight into Yui, and the two topple to the floor. The chair lands on them a second later, and before anyone can react, Kyoko walks over and peers down at the pair. "Why does everything in this lab happen to you?"

 

Yui laughs, a full throaty laugh that Mari feels rather than hears, and even she manages a weary smile. Rolling over, she accepts Kyoko's offered hand, then joins her in helping Yui to her feet. "At least we didn't fall on the mice," Yui says.

 

"I think that's just you," Kyoko replies. "Now if you two can keep your balance for a minute, I'll go get our mouse."

 

"Don't fall!" calls Yui. Kyoko waves back at her in reply, and Yui snickers before pulling out their equipment from a nearby cabinet. Mari joins her in arranging them, putting test tubes in their racks.

 

"Yui?" Mari asks after a while. "Are you- do you think you're free today?"

 

"Oh, after class? I should be. Kyoko is, too. Usual spot?"

 

Mari wishes she had the courage to shake her head, to say no, she wants to talk to Yui by herself. Still, Yui and Kyoko are better than no Yui at all, and if Kyoko can make Yui laugh like she usually does, it's a fair trade. "Sure," she says with a shrug. "Let's get this over with so we can go."

 

Yui relays the plan to Kyoko when she returns, and the trio leaps into a frenzy of work so concentrated, they don't notice when another group's mouse escapes and runs beneath their feet. They finish within an hour, clean up their workspace, and sweep out the door with the triumphant feeling of freedom. Even Mari, who desperately needs a nice, long nap, joins Yui and Kyoko in giggling all the way down the stairs.

 

"It's been what, two weeks since we got to do this?" Kyoko asks, leading the others over to the bench. "Haven't you two ever heard of relaxing?"

 

"It's Mari's first year. She has time," says Yui. "You want anything to drink? Coffee, tea?"

 

"Just coffee," answers Mari.

 

"Make that two."

 

"Three coffees, got it."

 

"You know, you should put in less time at the lab, Yui," Kyoko mutters as Yui busies herself with the vending machine. "I think Fuyutsuki's starting to come on to you."

 

"What?" No, that's silly, Kyoko."

 

"He totally is. You saw him today, right, Mari?"

 

"Kyoko, you're being ridiculous. Mari, stop nodding so much. You look like a bobblehead."

 

"Kyoko has a point," says Mari, accepting her drink from Yui. "That's the kind of thing creepy teachers do in stories."

 

"Well, even if you're right, I'm not interested. I've got someone else already."

 

"Oh?" Both Kyoko and Mari sit up, their heads turning toward Yui. "And who might this be?" asks Kyoko.

 

"You'll have to guess."

 

"Okay, well, give us a hint!"

 

"He's..." Yui pauses, tapping at her lips with her fingers. "Well, he's in our year."

 

"That's specific," Mari deadpans.

 

"He has dark hair..."

 

"Beard or no beard?" Kyoko demands.

 

"No beard."

 

"Ugh! Come on, Yui. You have to give us more than that!"

 

"Well, he's... I think he's some sort of science major, so-"

 

Mari drowns out the conversation next to her with a clenching of the metal can in her hands. The crumpling tin is a magnet to the ears; both Yui and Kyoko pause and glance at her. "Mari?"

 

"Sorry, you two. I forgot I have something to take care of." Mari digs into her pocket, then shoves a few coins at Yui. "For the drink."

 

"Mari, it's fine. Are you sure you're-"

 

"Well, I'll see you both next week. Bye." Mari leaves with a wave and nothing more, not even a backward glance. Yui stares after her, tapping her can worriedly.

 

"Kyoko, should I go after her?" she asks. "I don't think she's telling us something."

 

"I'm sure she's alright. She's probably just spread herself too thin." Kyoko sighs, glancing at the empty space next to her. "Being a genius only gets you so far in life."

 

"Maybe she's angry about the test. I didn't see what she got."

 

"Don't worry about it, Yui. Give her a week, and it'll be fine."

 

"If you say so." Yui takes another sip of her drink, the coffee bitter in her mouth despite the added sugar. She forces it down with a grimace, the can crinkling under her fingers. "It doesn't feel right without her here."

 

"Yeah. It doesn't."

 

\-----------------------------

 

The crumpled can, still half-full, goes flying into a trash bin with a noisy rattle. The sound is barely comforting, even if the loud clanging of metal is somewhat satisfying. Gone is the heady feeling from before, replaced by a heavy sinking in her gut. Mari knows the sensation of stress all too well; knows when her barriers are paper-thin and close to falling.

 

She ducks into a nearby building, seeking out the washroom with a precision unbefitting her exhaustion. The door swings open, accompanied by a flood of chattering voices, and Mari turns away immediately. She needs privacy, quiet, somewhere to wallow in her sadness until she can snap herself out of it. And she needs to find some quickly.

 

Her answer is staring at her from across the way. Kyoto University's library stands four stories high and spans a length of 100 meters. Mari knows it as a bastion of learning, its shelves like walls, dividing its inhabitants. She moves toward it thoughtlessly, letting her legs carry her up the steps and through the front doors.

 

The library is silent as always, even though every seat in sight is occupied. Mari darts past rows of students, their heads buried in textbooks, and she wishes she could be like them- studying, worried about finals; worried about anything except the matter that seizes her mind. Her shoulders shaking, Mari rounds another corner, heading for the back of the library. No doubt the seats there are also taken, but the books in that section are so rarely sought after that Mari knows she won't be disturbed there.

 

It takes a good minute for Mari to find a place to hide: the desks are arranged so students can see down each aisle, and though no one tends to look, Mari wants to take no chances. She settles down at the foot of a large shelf, just wide enough to accommodate the width of her shoulders. Dropping her bag next to her, Mari hunches over, exhaustion washing over her like a wave. If a lack of sleep wasn't affecting her, Yui's words certainly are. She grabs at her shirt, bunching her shoulders up, the last of her composure flaking away. Tears stream down her face in uncoordinated rivulets, turning the fabric in her hands a dark forest green. No sobs escape her mouth- it's much too quiet, and she could easily be heard- but her lips part in a noiseless cry, and the breaths passing between them grow increasingly ragged.

 

The bag at her side tips over, spilling textbooks into the aisle. Mari grabs at them, her wet hands trembling as they gather the books back behind her cover. One title catches her eye: Fuyutsuki's lab book, the lower-left corner stained with blood from her first day of class. It seems so long ago, and Mari so different- as if, back then, she knew what she was doing. Only now, surrounded by knowledge and its pursuers, does she realize she didn't had a clue to begin with. Mari hugs her knees to her chest, burying her face in her arms. If not for the occasional sniffle, one could easily mistake her for being asleep- and Mari wishes she was asleep, so that she could wake up and learn it was all a dream.

 

But it's not a dream, and she knows that. Her tears taper off as a soreness sets in her limbs, and she knows it's time to move on, even though she would be more than content to stay curled up on the floor. After ensuring her bag is shut, she rubs at her face- there's no evidence that she was crying, save from her swollen eyes, and that can be attributed to a week of sleepless nights. Satisfied, Mari marches forth from her hiding place, looking every bit the confident, if tired student.

 

The act lasts up until Mari reaches the front door. Luck is not kind to her. Yui walks in and spots her in a heartbeat, waving her over. "Mari!" she whispers. "I didn't expect to find you here. You finished your project already?"

 

"I only had to check on a few things. It was a short meeting."

 

"I was going to review some things for the lab quiz, since I won't really have time next week. Care to join me?"

 

Mari frowns, on the verge of saying no. Her heart instructs her to do otherwise. She manages to shrug despite the aching of her shoulders, where all her pent-up tension seems to have gathered. "Sure."

 

Yui grabs Mari by the hand and leads her into the library, managing to find a pair of open seats in a secluded part of the library, just a short distance from the main hall. Laying her bag on the table, she pulls her notes out, only to stop when she realizes Mari hasn't moved since she sat down. "Mari? Is everything alright?"

 

"Hm? Yes. Why do you ask?"

 

"You've seemed off today. Sad."

 

"I'm fine. It's just been a busy week, and I need to rest."

 

"Am I keeping you here?" asks Yui. "You don't have to stay, you know."

 

"But I want to." Mari smiles, a weak fluttering of her lips, and the look Yui gives her chases away all traces of her fatigue. "What subject, Yui?"

 

"Just what we did today. Kyoko didn't even take notes on half the procedures, if you can believe that."

 

"Sadly, I can," laughs Mari, placing her book on the table. A pang shoots through her, and she brushes it aside, pulling out her lab papers. "Here's what I have."

 

"Oh, you have more than me. Let me see!"

 

Yui pulls the notes away to copy them, and Mari realizes that for the second time, she's proven she can do something better than Yui. The knowledge is glorious. She leans back in her seat, basking in her own satisfaction, and heaves a long, relaxed sigh.

 

A moment later, Yui shatters it all with a single observation. "You know, the way you write reminds me of that guy I was telling you about earlier."

 

"The... one from the cafeteria," Mari says, realization replacing her prior enthusiasm. "You said he was a science major?"

 

"That's right, you weren't there when Kyoko guessed who it was. You want to try?"

 

Mari fixes Yui with a blank stare, propping her head up with one hand. Once again, her physical state proves to be her ally. "Just tell me, Yui," she sighs. "I'm tired."

 

"Okay, okay. It's Gendo."

 

It takes Mari several seconds to process what Yui has just said. "Gendo... Rokubungi?" she almost shouts, remembering at the last second to keep her voice down. Her hand slides off her cheek, hitting the table with a smack. _"Him?!"_

 

"Kyoko had almost the same exact reaction," Yui laughs, hiding her smile behind her hands.

 

"That's because- never mind." Mari's gaze drops to the papers covering the table, a week's worth of observations that, in the face of this revelation, hold no meaning. The labors of months have paid off- she's beaten Yui not once, but twice- and yet there is nothing in that accomplishment. Not when someone like Gendo Rokubungi has outdone her. Mari wants to take the pages in front of her and rip them to shreds, to curse them for leading her to believe she could succeed when in reality, she didn't have a chance to begin with.

 

"And I'm done!" Yui says cheerfully, holding the notes out for Mari to take. When Mari continues staring stonily at the table, Yui touches her hand. She lurches back like she's been burned, eyes blazing, her lips pressed together in a thin line, and in that moment Yui can barely recognize the freshman she's grown to know.

 

Then Mari reaches out, taking the paper and stacking it neatly with the others. "Thanks," she mumbles. The notes vanish into her book with a crinkling of paper. She makes no effort to straighten them out. As she shoves the book into her bag, Yui finally speaks up.

 

"Mari, what's wrong? Please, tell me."

 

Mari can't even look up. She shakes her head, clenching her fists around the straps of her bag. If she speaks, she'll break, but she can't just leave Yui hanging like that. "I need to go," she gasps out.

 

A hand grabs her before she can turn to leave. Yui stares across the table at her, her green eyes gentle, and Mari looks away. She can't lie to Yui's face.

 

"Is it because of Gendo?" Yui asks.

 

Mari summons a shaky smile, which holds, much to her surprise. "No. Like I said, I'm just... I'm tired, Yui."

 

When Mari looks up again, she can see in those eyes that Yui doesn't believe her for a second. Yui steps out of her seat, crossing the small distance between them, her arms enveloping Mari. "Hey," she says, whispering the words like a mother to her child. "It'll be okay."

 

But it won't, Mari thinks. Everything is wrong; everything feels empty. There is no warmth to their contact like before, and even if Yui doesn't notice the change, Mari does.

 

As they part, Yui pulls Mari's chair over by hers. "Come on. I'll help you."

 

Mari takes one look at the chairs, standing side by side, and shakes her head. "I'm sorry," she says, backing away from Yui, who extends a hand. It's open, inviting, waiting- and in that moment she hates Yui for offering it; she hates herself for wanting to take it. Oh, how she hates herself. "I'm sorry," she repeats.

 

And then, she leaves, keeping her eyes looking ahead, not allowing herself to deviate from the mental line drawn from herself to the door. She feels Yui's eyes on her up until she vanishes behind a bookshelf- but if anything, it makes the pressure on her chest grow tighter.

 

As she stumbles out into the cool evening air, Mari finally allows herself to glance back. Yui hasn't followed her out, or at least, not yet. She needs to put some distance between them, so she keeps moving, her steps hammering out a triple beat on the sidewalk. _I hate you, I hate you,_ they say.

 

She doesn't know whether they're meant for herself, or for Yui.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

The weeks bridging June and July are the most painful weeks Mari can remember. Avoiding Yui takes all her willpower, except for when they're together in the lab on Thursdays. Mari puts on a fake smile then, laughing and joking but always avoiding Yui's eyes. She doesn't stay to talk with Kyoko and Yui after class, rushing off without a word- but sometimes she'll double back, staying just out of sight of their bench. Oddly, Kyoko hasn't moved over into the empty space Mari usually occupies- and seeing this almost makes her yield and go back. She's a split second from walking over when she sees Yui wave, not at her, but to a figure in the far distance. Mari can make out a plain shirt and black slacks, hunched shoulders and dark hair, and she turns away, not willing to stay any longer.

 

That's the last Mari expects to see of Yui and Kyoko until the following Thursday. She's wrong.

 

She's walking out of class on Monday when someone grabs her arm and pulls her down the hall, out of everyone's way. A flash of blonde hair is all Mari needs to tell it's Kyoko who has her. How Kyoko learned her schedule, Mari doesn't know: she probably got it from Fuyutsuki. It doesn't matter. What Mari needs is an opening to escape, something Kyoko refuses to provide.

 

They stop in an empty stairwell- the one no one uses, whose entrance lies in the middle of a rarely-traveled path. All hopes of this being a short conversation evaporate. Kyoko puts her hand on her waist, the other still holding tightly to Mari. "Okay, look," she says. "I don't know what's going on between you and Yui, but this needs to stop."

 

"What does?" Mari asks, feigning disinterest.

 

"This! You! You haven't spoken to either of us for two weeks outside of Fuyutsuki's class, and Yui's not telling me anything. All she'll say is that she thinks she's messed up, and that's it. I don't know what happened, but you have to stop acting like such a child and go talk to her."

 

"So you decided to wait outside my class to tell me I need to talk to Yui," Mari smirks. "Why didn't she come up here instead?"

 

"I didn't tell Yui I was coming here. Anyways, I don't know where she's gone to now. She stopped showing up at our usual spot last week. I think she's been looking for you. She said something about regretting not catching you earlier. That she went after you, but you were gone, and that's why she thinks she's messed up. Sound familiar?"

 

Surprise shows on Mari's face despite her efforts to keep it down. "She came after me?" she repeats, a hint of wonder breaking through her monotone.

 

"Didn't I just say that? Look, she wants you back, okay? And I don't care what happened between you two- as long as it gets settled, I'll be glad to have you back, too. I don't think I've seen Yui smile since you left. She's worried about you."

 

"She can worry about herself."

 

"Mari!" The grip on Mari's arm tightens, and she winces as Kyoko's nails dig into her skin. "Why are you acting like this, Mari? What did Yui ever do to you?"

 

"What did she do?" A laugh bubbles to the surface, a genuine laugh that Mari makes no attempt to stop. "You both don't get it, do you? I was the best. Then Yui comes along, and I'm not anymore. Do you know what that's like, to have something that you're used to suddenly ripped from you? And to know that it's your friend's doing?"

 

"I do," Kyoko snarls, finally releasing Mari. "You're doing that to Yui right now."

 

Whatever retorts Mari had prepared fade away, and all she can do is stare at Kyoko. Kyoko stares right back, for once showing no trace of emotion on her face. It's blank, just like Mari's mind- and when she finally formulates a reply, Kyoko's already beaten her to it.

 

"I told Yui that I wanted to meet her at the usual spot today," she says. "If you really give a damn about her, at least show up and say hello. That's all I'm asking."

 

Mari's throat clenches. "When?"

 

"We're supposed to meet in an hour."

 

"What if you hadn't caught me leaving class?"

 

Kyoko cracks a smile. "I may not be as good as Yui, but I can still get a job done. Don't you know this by now?"

 

"I suppose," Mari replies with a smile of her own.

 

"There we go," says Kyoko. "By the way, you should stop by Fuyutsuki's office. He said he was handing back lab papers early this week in his office so we could study them before the quiz. You left before you could hear that."

 

"Thank you." Kyoko nods, turning back towards the hallway, only for Mari's voice to stop her. "Hey, Kyoko... you should tell Yui it’s bad for her to sleep with her glasses on.”

 

"What does that have to do with anyth-"

 

"Soryu!" calls a voice from down the hall. Kyoko spins around on instinct, and by the time she glances back, Mari is already halfway up the stairs to the next floor.

 

"You'd better show up, Mari," Kyoko mutters beneath her breath, and turns back to the Dean.  

The hall is surprisingly empty for a Monday afternoon, especially the week before exams. Everyone must be somewhere else, probably studying- not cooped up in labs poking at mice. Mari locates Fuyutsuki's room with little trouble, and knocks once on the door. There is no response. Pressing her ear to the door, she hears nothing at first- then a faint sound, which fades all too soon, obscured by the buzzing of the cicadas outside. The door handle yields before a tentative push, and after a moment's hesitation, Mari enters, paying no heed to the post-it beneath her feet.

 

_Will be away Monday. Please refer to Yui Ikari for assistance._

_-Fuyutsuki._

 

 


	6. Bonus Chapter

Mari staggers down the sidewalk, the constant droning of the cicadas ringing in her ears. Their songs echo in the encroaching darkness, growing louder in the shadows of the buildings where lights fail to reach. Mari welcomes the white noise; she wishes it was louder, so it would chase away all the thoughts in her head and leave it blank. She knows little of Gendo Rokubungi- only his face and his name- but each time she recalls them, a pain shoots through her like needles being pressed into her skin, and each time she stops, only to begin the cycle anew.

 

After walking for hours, everything from Mari's face, red from the cold, to her legs feel like they're burning. She needs to return home soon, only Mari doesn't know where home is. Her mindless wanderings and the setting of the sun have left her disoriented.

 

A lamp flickers up ahead, and Mari glimpses a bench beneath it. She lurches forward, grateful for the promise of rest. Once she's had time to recharge, she'll get back up and try to find her way back: or that's what she plans to do. Her nerves fail her five feet from the pool of light; her already tired legs lock up and freeze. Standing next to the bench, visible now in the faint radiance, is the first landmark Mari's recognized in hours. All this walking has done for her is take her back to the start.

 

"Nothing goes right for me, huh," Mari spits, moving slowly towards the familiar tree. The upper branches appear to suck in all the light from the nearby lamp post, blotting out even the faint glow of the moon. _The perfect place to be_ , she thinks.

 

Dropping her bag at the base of the tree, Mari seeks out the hand and footholds from before. They welcome her back, urging her closer like the friend she believes never will. The bark scrapes against her skin as she climbs, raising jagged red lines on her arms. Mari pays them no mind as she pulls herself up, perching carefully on the branch.

 

When she angles back towards the path, she recognizes none of it. The night has twisted everything beyond what she can recall, and only the bench remains the same. If she tries hard enough, if she squints the right way, Mari can just make out Kyoko sitting there, scorn on her face as she chastises Yui for-

 

No. Mari closes her eyes, wrenching her head in the opposite direction. The sudden movement makes her head spin, and for a split second she feel's like she's about to fall. Her hands grab the branch with an urgency she's not seen since the first week of classes, and it's then that Mari knows it was a bad idea to stop here. From this portion of the campus, the dorms should be only a fifteen-minute walk away. Just a little while more, Mari tells herself, and then she'll be on her way.

 

Leaning against the tree, Mari allows her eyes to wander back towards the bench. With the way the light flickers, it looks like a scene from an old movie. She watches the lamp shudder, struggling to stay lit, and a smirk finds its way to her lips. In a way, they're both alike- fighting to fulfill a purpose no one will appreciate, not until they've both failed and someone else has to pick up the pieces.

 

Or, in Mari's case, she gathers herself back together on her own.

 

With a final, valiant sputter, the light bulb winks out, plunging everything into darkness. Her eyes unaccustomed to the sudden change, Mari gropes about for the branch beneath her, making sure it's still there. Yes, it is, and she lets herself relax again.

 

The buzzing of the cicadas grows louder in the absence of light. As her eyes slowly adjust, Mari notices movement further down the walkway. She tenses, pulling her knees up to her chest and wiggling back against the trunk. The figure draws closer, and Mari makes out a humanoid outline, partially obscured by a long coat. Her stomach shrinks when the figure lifts its head, almost looking directly at her.

 

Unease becomes all-out panic as the figure starts forward rapidly, heading straight for the tree. Mari scrambles to her feet, looking for a way up into the higher branches, but with such little visibility, it's no use. The footsteps stop directly beneath the tree, and Mari's heart stops along with them.

 

Then she hears the most welcome sound she's heard that night.

 

"Mari?" Yui asks, peering up into the branches. "Is that you? I've been looking all over for you!"

 

"Oh. Yui," Mari replies, her voice weak. "You scared me."

 

"Hold on, let me come up there. I can barely see you!"

 

"Do you need help?"

 

"No, I have it!" Yui grunts, slowly inching her way up the tree. "You made this look so easy," she complains. Mari edges over as Yui brushes past her, taking a seat on the same branch, just a few feet out from the trunk.

 

"Why are you here, Yui?" Mari barely holds back the edge to her tone, but she knows Yui hears it anyway.

 

"I needed to talk to you."

 

"Well, we're both here. What is it?"

 

"Mari, about what happened in the library..." Yui shakes her head, and the leaves around them rustle. "I didn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry."

 

"You shouldn't be. It's stupid, anyway."

 

"It's not stupid!" exclaims Yui. "That's- I never meant to upset you, Mari. If you had just told me-"

 

"Then what? It would still be the same."

 

To that, Yui has no response. Mari is right, and both of them know it. Yui sighs, the sound lost in the whispering of the wind, and the branch trembles. Mari shivers, her jaws ground tightly together to prevent her teeth from chattering in a stubborn gesture of strength.

 

"You're cold," Yui remarks, removing her lab coat. "Here. Wear this."

 

"I don't need your pity."

 

"Mari, don't be silly. You're going to get sick." Mari turns away as Yui reaches over and drapes the garment around her shoulders, fastening a button to keep it in place. Though she won't admit it, the cold vanishes almost instantly, and for that she is grateful.

 

If only it hadn't been Yui.

 

The silence stretches on, seconds dragging by with painful slowness. Yui seems content to say nothing, though occasionally she throws a glance at Mari to make sure she's alright. Mari recognizes the look on her face from those brief moments of eye contact. She's seen it before, always accompanied by a quiz or a study session. When Yui gets determined, it is best to yield, and so Mari does.

 

"Yui, just tell me what you want so I can go."

 

"I don't want anything, Mari. I just wanted to be here for you."

 

"Fine job you're doing," Mari scoffs. "If the only thing we're going to be doing is sitting up here all night, I'm lea-" She freezes. Surely that warmth isn't what she hopes it is- but she's right, and her heart soars. Yui's arms settle around her shoulders and slide down to her waist, pulling her closer.

 

"Yui? What are you doing?"

 

Yui doesn't respond, but one of her hands leaves Mari's side to thread through her hair. Mari's breath catches, and as Yui's head settles gently against her neck, she knows she has to say something.

 

"If this is supposed to make me feel better, I'm not buying it," she snaps. "Stop lying."

 

"What if I'm not lying?"

 

Mari's hands clench with an audible crack. "Yui. Why?"

 

"I care about you, Mari."

 

"Like you care about Gendo?" Mari chokes back a laugh, struggling to maintain her composure. "You know, you probably could've found me faster if you'd just asked him to help you. Why didn't you?"

 

"Not everything is about him." Yui's voice is painfully close, so close that Mari has to look away, her blank expression finally wavering. "Mari, just forget about him."

 

"I will if you do." This time, Mari's too slow to stop the words from leaving her mouth. Her shoulders slump as she feels Yui move away, no doubt repulsed by her selfishness.

 

Then she feels the hand on her cheek. She can't bring herself to look at Yui, to see what must be pity marring her beautiful face, but when Yui guides her head around, it's not pity she sees, but a smile. "I can't do that," Yui says. "But I can help you forget."

 

"With what? I don't think anyone's invented memory serum yet."

 

"Just close your eyes."

 

Mari's heart skips a beat, skips three beats. Yui is still smiling patiently, and Mari wants to ask if this is all a joke, and if Gendo and Kyoko are lurking somewhere nearby to laugh at her. But she still trusts Yui, and so she follows her instructions, unsure if her hopes are too high, if she's misjudged her friend.

 

Yui's hand leaves her cheek.

 

Time itself stops.

 

There is nothing. No touching of lips, no affectionate gesture. Mari waits long past what any reasonable person would have waited, and when she finally opens her eyes, the light from the street lamp blinds her.

 

Yui and her lab coat are gone, replaced by the cold air. Something rolls down Mari's cheek- not a tear, but dew, dripping down from the leaves above. As Mari pushes herself away from the trunk, the campus clock strikes midnight, its final peal echoing when Mari's feet hit the ground. The blades of grass beneath her are wet and untouched; she is the first to disturb them this morning.

 

After such a long period in the tree, Mari feels numb- every part of her, even her mind, hums along with the ever-present cicadas. The last moments of her dream loop through her thoughts, taunting her, and every time she pushes it away, it comes back in vivid clarity. Amazingly, she holds herself together long enough to climb the stairs of her dorm and collapse onto her bed, while the last shred of her consciousness tells her she'll wake up with leaves in her hair, and Yui nearby.

 

She wakes with the sun in her eyes- and of course, it was only a dream.


End file.
